Moments Leading to Purpose

“What do you enjoy doing when no one is looking?”

I personally bombard my friends with YouTube videos most days, or fill my apple notes with positive thoughts and messages of things I may or may never say. Apart from this, I just really enjoy growing as an individual and helping those around me to grow as well.

Years ago, I started a nonprofit to encourage females: young, teens and young adults. We read inspirational books, and gathered every week or weekend to share what we learned.

I realize this was my purpose, to help others grow in God’s word and to grow in Gods word myself. It was empowering for me as well as others.

At the time, many would say, my life was purposeful. I was married, had a family and my ex-husband and I served in full-time ministry as music leaders. I had what every female my age wanted, since the age of 21.

When I started my nonprofit, I had no idea my happy little world would shatter. What I thought was my purpose I had no clue I would lose, and I lost everything. At least I thought I lost everything; however, after revisiting a few events in my life, I realize I did not lose a thing.

One of those events were the time I decided to go on a one month fast, right before I decided to leave my marriage. On the very last day of this fast God spoke to me in the most unconventional place, the shower. My ex-husband and I were living in ATL at the time and I decided to fast from my favorite thing, chocolate candy. On the last day of the fast, God spoke to me. He said, “Be broken for me, I have called you by my name, be broken for me, nations I’ve called to thee, be broken for me.” It was a prophetic song. I began to cry and cry for hours. My heart was full but it wasn’t over. I then had a vision of a powerful woman of God that I knew from my hometown. In the vision she had the countenance of someone who had just overcome the worse battle in her life. At this moment in my spirit I heard, “As I have set her free, I will set you free.” I was clueless of her battle then, but I learned later what she has overcome so much and today she is making a difference in our community.

I’m reminded of another event while still in my marriage, I was operating my nonprofit at the time and was going through a ton of challenges in my home. I decided to attend a Saturday morning prayer at this woman of God’s church and she prophesied to me saying, “God will use you to do a ministry that is unique”. I knew she was referring to outreach outside of the church and a part of what I was already doing but I knew there was more I had yet to see.

I can recall another event where I was on stage leading thousands of people into worship but I did not feel complete. As much as I loved and enjoyed worshipping God in my private time, on stage I had a desire to connect with God’s people on a more personal level of empowerment and outreach. I wanted to be more hands on and involved in my community. I did not want the glam. I wanted transparency. I wanted purpose, even if it meant stepping down from the stage. During those times in ministry, many were blessed by my gift of song, but God would say to me “I am calling you out of the 4 walls of the church to do ministry.” I had no idea that meant a divorce, and my life would completely change.

My most recent event was today. On this great Sunday, August 4, 2019, God used that same woman to remind me of my purpose. Yes I’ve attended her church for the past two Sunday’s. Although I struggled with the decision to attend any church service for the past few months, I knew that I had made the right decision to attend as she spoke to me in her sermon. The message was about “Purpose” and everything I needed which is why I decided to write this article.

I’m currently in my final year of college, pursuing a degree in English/Psychology. I realize “I’m a writer,” in the words of my 5th grade teacher and the 8,000 notes in my notepad. Today’s message helped me to refocus and concentrate on the things God has been preparing me for as a writer.

A writer is an encourager, a motivator and a life changer. She/He helps others to grow through blogs, vlogs and publicly speaking on matters of the heart that matters to others. Some writers even sing to bring comfort to the world. For years my life has been confusing, trying to figure out purpose after divorce and losing what I thought was purpose.

I have so many gifts but now I can finally put my thinking cap into one stream of gifting and that’s writing.